[Defapp] Use real HPCON for PTY management; Have Monarch always listen for connections
## PR Checklist
* [x] Closes#9464
* [x] Related to #9475 - incomplete fix
* [x] I work here.
* [x] Manual test
## Detailed Description of the Pull Request / Additional comments
- Sometimes peasants can't manage to accept a connection appropriately because I wrote defterm before @zadjii-msft's monarch/peasant architecture. The simple solution here is to just make the monarch always be listening for inbound connections. Then COM won't start a peasant with -Embedding just to ask the monarch where it should go. It'll just join the active window. I didn't close 9475 because it should follow monarch policies on which window to join... and it doesn't yet.
- A lot of interesting things are happening because this didn't have a real HPCON. So I passed through the remaining handles (and re-GUID-ed the interface) that made it possible for me to pack the right process handles and such into an HPCON on the inbound connection and monitor that like any other ConptyConnection. This should resolve some of the process exit behaviors and signal channel things like resizing.
This adds [`XamlStyler.Console`] to our solution, and calls it when we
format the code, to also format
our .xaml files.
* `XamlStyler.Console` is a dotnet tool so it needs to be restored with
`dotnet tool restore`
* I've added a set of rules to approximately follow [@cmaneu's XAML guidelines].
Those guidelines also recommend things based on the code-behind, which
this tool can't figure out, but also _don't matter that much_.
* There's an extra step to strip BOMs from the output, since Xaml Styler
adds a BOM by default. Some had them before and others didn't. BOMs
have been nothing but trouble though.
[`XamlStyler.Console`]: https://github.com/Xavalon/XamlStyler
[@cmaneu's XAML guidelines]: https://github.com/cmaneu/xaml-coding-guidelines
