258 lines
12 KiB
Java
258 lines
12 KiB
Java
package ley.modding.dartcraft.util;
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import java.util.ArrayList;
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import java.util.List;
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import java.util.Random;
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public class FortunesUtil {
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private static Random rand;
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private static List<String> fortunes = new ArrayList<String>();
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public static void addFortune(String fortune) {
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if (fortunes != null && fortune != null)
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fortunes.add(fortune);
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}
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public static void load() {
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rand = new Random(System.nanoTime());
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loadFortunes();
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}
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public static String getFortune() {
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if (fortunes == null || fortunes.size() < 1)
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return "";
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int index = rand.nextInt(fortunes.size());
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if (index >= fortunes.size())
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return "";
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return fortunes.get(index);
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}
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private static void loadFortunes() {
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addFortune("You aren't supposed to eat me.");
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addFortune("Beauty is in the eye of the tiger.");
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addFortune("Creeper!");
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addFortune("Which came first, the chicken or the chunk?");
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addFortune("Whatever happened to Doritos 3D?");
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addFortune("Diabetes, anyone?");
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addFortune("That wasn't a cookie!");
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addFortune("If a tree falls down in the woods, you have a special mod installed."
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);
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addFortune("The cake is a lie of omission.");
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addFortune(
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"A wise man once said, \"Yes honey, it does make you look fat.\" He never said that again."
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);
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addFortune("Don't stare directly at the pixels.");
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addFortune("I know where you live.");
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addFortune("Your lucky numbers are 0, -7, and 437922904678137496.708162");
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addFortune("There is never enough redstone.");
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addFortune("What you seek is surrounded by blocks.");
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addFortune("Today is Tuesday, or is it Friday - I can never tell.");
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addFortune(
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"In the event of a creeper explosion, your keyboard can double as a broken keyboard."
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);
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addFortune("I didn't do it.");
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addFortune("You are 5.6 grams heavier than you were 10 seconds ago.");
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addFortune("I dropped my cookie.");
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addFortune("...Saltpeter? Really?");
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addFortune("We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I.");
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addFortune("Eat another cookie.");
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addFortune(
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"fontRenderer.drawString(\"Totally Real Accidental Glitch\", posX, posY, 0xFFFFFF);"
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);
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addFortune("I CAN believe it's not butter.");
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addFortune("Beware enderman with a short fuse...");
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addFortune("Remember to repair your tools.");
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addFortune("Every rose has its bounding box.");
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addFortune("Get out of my chest!");
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addFortune("Please recycle.");
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addFortune("Great, now you've spoiled your dinner!");
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addFortune("Welcome to Hoarders: Minecraft edition!");
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addFortune("Not all Blocks are created equal.");
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addFortune("Don't touch that!");
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addFortune("Always name your machinations.");
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addFortune(
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"Look in your inventory, now back to me - this fortune is now diamonds!"
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);
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addFortune("Who put that there?");
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addFortune(
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"Winners never cheat and cheaters never win, unless the winners cheated, in which case the cheaters won."
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);
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addFortune("Hi Bob! What, they can't all be zingers.");
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addFortune(
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"Have you ever thought to yourself, \"My, that's an awfully large open grave!\""
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);
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addFortune("Could you pick up my dry-cleaning?");
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addFortune(
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"Never shower in a thunderstorm. It's less efficient than bathing indoors and you'll freak out your neighbors."
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);
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addFortune(
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"It is said that everyone experiences hardships, but God must REALLY hate YOU."
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);
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addFortune(
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"If you play a country song backwards, you waste about 4 minutes of your life listening to garbled nonsense."
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);
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addFortune("No, you can't make that jump.");
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addFortune(
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"I know they're furry and cuddly, but trust me, they're evil incarnate."
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);
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addFortune("Do you Dew?");
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addFortune("I see the land, but where exactly are the tracts?");
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addFortune("Creepers were originally from Dr. Who.");
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addFortune("Don't bogart my nasal spray!");
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addFortune("You'll live.");
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addFortune("Don't make me come back there!");
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addFortune(
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"I've burned everything that reminds me of you in a ritualistic bonfire."
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);
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addFortune(
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"We will be an unstoppable force; to our enemies we bring only death, to our allies we always bring cake."
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);
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addFortune("Heavy is the head that eats the crayons.");
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addFortune("Beware skinwalkers.");
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addFortune("Don't fear the creeper.");
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addFortune("Goodness and love will always win!");
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addFortune("I told you not to eat that!");
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addFortune("Winner!");
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addFortune("Beware anyone without an eye-patch!");
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addFortune("Don't kill all the animals!");
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addFortune("It's a wonder you get anything done!");
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addFortune("You will find happiness with a new love: Minecraft's latest patch.");
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addFortune("Seriously, who is in charge of the song/cowbell ratio?");
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addFortune("It's not a bug, it's a \"feature.\"");
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addFortune("Do you really need this many cookies?");
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addFortune("NCC1701");
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addFortune("I wanted to be a newspaper.");
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addFortune("Thank you! It was really dark in there!");
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addFortune("Thank you for not eating me.");
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addFortune("Burn the door!");
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addFortune("That's the biggest flapjack I've ever seen!");
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addFortune("Please be kind, de-rind");
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addFortune("It's a secret to everybody.");
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addFortune("I AM ERROR.");
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addFortune("If all else fails use fire.");
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addFortune("Dig it! Dig it! Dig to the center of the earth!");
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addFortune("No! Not into the pit! It BURNS!");
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addFortune("Dawn of the First Day, 72 hours remain.");
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addFortune("Don't stare directly at the potato.");
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addFortune("The chicken is a double-agent.");
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addFortune("Good lord!");
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addFortune("What's all this junk?");
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addFortune("Creepers blow chunks.");
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addFortune("Equivalence is a lie.");
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addFortune("Body by Sycamore.");
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addFortune("I hear 'Innards of the Machine' is on tour.");
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addFortune("Do something else.");
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addFortune("The capital of The Ukraine is Kiev.");
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addFortune("DebugCookie4A73N82");
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addFortune("Point that somewhere else!");
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addFortune("Forking is strictly prohibited.");
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addFortune("Void where prohibited.");
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addFortune("This parrot is no more!");
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addFortune("He's dead, Jim.");
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addFortune("Leave me alone for a bit, okay?");
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addFortune("Don't you dare shift-click me!");
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addFortune("Me again.");
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addFortune("My summer home is a no-bake.");
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addFortune("We can still be friends.");
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addFortune("The night is young, but you are not.");
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addFortune("Keyboard cat has carpal tunnel.");
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addFortune("Pull lever, get key.");
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addFortune("Boats n' Hoes");
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addFortune("Never eat an entire chocolate bunny in one sitting.");
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addFortune("Push that button and die.");
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addFortune("That cookie was mostly spackle.");
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addFortune("Slime Chunkery.");
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addFortune("I hate Thaumic Slimes.");
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addFortune("Inertia is a property of mallard.");
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addFortune("I prefer cake.");
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addFortune("If you can read this, you're literate.");
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addFortune("Don't touch the sides!");
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addFortune("Crunchitize me Cap'n!");
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addFortune("Please head in an orderly fashion to the disintegration chamber.");
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addFortune("It's the deer's ears.");
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addFortune("Happy anniversary, Carol!");
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addFortune("Never startle a ninja.");
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addFortune("If the shoe fits, you probably own it.");
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addFortune("Cattle reproduce by budding.");
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addFortune("Has anyone seen my Fedora?");
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addFortune("I beg to defer.");
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addFortune("Everybody loops.");
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addFortune(
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"Why is Count Chocula seasonal? Pedophilic vampires are always in style!"
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);
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addFortune("Eekum Bokum.");
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addFortune("Churba wurt!");
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addFortune("Darwa jit!");
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addFortune("Success is often preceded by failure, then followed again by failure."
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);
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addFortune("Man with Steve skin receive no cake.");
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addFortune("It's all Melnics to me!");
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addFortune("\"Steve\" means \"lazy\" in Swedish.");
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addFortune("This is the word of Notch.");
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addFortune("Don't attack the cute little endermen - you'll be sorry.");
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addFortune("I miss my sanity, but then again I never used it.");
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addFortune("So this is where germs are born!");
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addFortune("I hate mondays.");
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addFortune("My old nemesis: gravity.");
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addFortune("I'm upgrade fodder!");
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addFortune("You can do anything at Zombo.com.");
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addFortune("Remember to feed the cattle.");
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addFortune(
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"TROGDOR was a man. I mean, he was a dragon-man... Maybe he was just a dragon."
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);
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addFortune(
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"Charles in charge of our clicks left and right. Charles in charge of every block in sight."
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);
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addFortune("Charles was never really in charge.");
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addFortune("Remember to use every part of the chicken.");
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addFortune("I'm not responsible for this.");
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addFortune("Every 10 minutes another crappy fortune is written.");
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addFortune("How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Chuck Norris?");
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addFortune("Roundhouse-kick for the win!");
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addFortune("DO NOT feed the beast! (After midnight)");
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addFortune("Please stop doing that.");
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addFortune("I'm not a vending machine!");
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addFortune("Try Ubuntu.");
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addFortune("If you program for more than 20 hours straight, do not blink.");
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addFortune("Ceiling cat is watching you procrastinate.");
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addFortune("Get your hand off my thigh! You can have the leg.");
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addFortune("Protective eyewear is a must!");
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addFortune("It's all in the wristwatch.");
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addFortune("Endermen in the UCB!");
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addFortune("Endermen can move TNT. I'm serious.");
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addFortune("Aww, you got blood all over my new sword!");
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addFortune("The human pancreas can take only so many twinkies.");
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addFortune("Humus is something you eat when you want your innards to cry.");
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addFortune("By Mennen");
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addFortune("Put me back in!");
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addFortune("...I got nothin'.");
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addFortune("We're out of milk.");
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addFortune("Always edit-out the derps.");
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addFortune("I want a lawyer.");
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addFortune("Bring me a shrubbery!");
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addFortune("It's bigger on the inside.");
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addFortune("That's what she said.");
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addFortune(
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"Have you heard the one about the Rabbi and the Priest? Oh I forgot, you're deaf."
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);
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addFortune(
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"There are worse appendages to get caught sticking inside the cookie jar."
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);
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addFortune("Ever have the feeling you're being watched? That's me!");
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addFortune("He who handles his NullPointerExceptions is a wise man indeed.");
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addFortune("Taking candy from a baby often prevents choking.");
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addFortune("Texting while driving is a potent form of natural-selection.");
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addFortune("The secret to a good marriage is matching tattoos.");
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addFortune(
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"A sucker is born every minute, however an idiot is born every two seconds."
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);
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addFortune("Error in Thread Main: ExceptionNotCaughtException: DartCraft.java:32"
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);
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addFortune("I'll tear YOUR stub!");
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addFortune("Daydreaming is free, cookies are not.");
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addFortune("PINGAS!");
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addFortune("The run is dead.");
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}
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}
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